What do you expect from the men you dance with? A short summary

So, here´s the summary of my survey.

Of course this summary is not representative according to scientific standards, but essentially everything has been mentioned here, what I heard from ladies during my entire tango life.

So what is important for all ladies

  1. Neat appearance and personal hygiene
  2. Respect for the dance partner (this includes, of course, already point 1)
  3. Empathy
  4. To be connected with the dance partner
  5. To not understand the lady as a “dance sport device”
  6. Musical dancing
  7. No lecturing on the dance floor to “explain to the lady how to do it”
  8. Humour
  9. Give the dance partner the feeling of security so that she can trust the guidance / invitations of the leader
  10. Friendliness
  11. Courtesy / good behavior
  12. No showing of the repertoire of figures, which one masters (more or less), no matter whether the lady is able or willing to perform it.
  13. Passion / Energy (but you should fine-tune.) Ladies do not want to be dragged back and forth by a dancer, nor is it fun to dance with a juiceless wuss.

Of course, some of these things overlap.

Many interesting things have been addressed by the ladies.

But it is also interesting what was not addressed / desired at all.

Among all the things that ladies expect from their dance partners, one is “missing” completely. And probably that will astonish many dancers.

Not a single lady wished that the gentlemen make more steps, figures,  sequences.

Apparently that’s not important to the vast majority of ladies.

This is interesting because most tango dancers I talk to believe that they need to know and perform as many figures as possible in order to make the dance interesting for the ladies.

I also know that many gentlemen stress themselves just because of that, and do not feel really good and complete as dancers when they know only a few “figures”.

All I can say about that: Forget it!

If you really need proof that figures are comparatively unimportant for the ladies, read, What do you expect from the men you dance with.

About Wolfgang Sandt

Mostly nice, patient, humorous, ecoconscious, good tango dancer and tango teacher
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