Is there a foolproof way to avoid a "no", inviting someone to dance?

 

La Mirada the Argentine invitation to dance

La Mirada the Argentine invitation to dance

Is there a foolproof way to avoid a “no”, inviting someone to dance?

You probably know the situation. With your last ounce of courage you have made up your mind to ask the nice lady on the other side of the dancefloor for the next dance.

You cross the dance floor for everybody to see, invite her and the only thing you get to hear is a most embarrassing “sorry, no”. Might happen to the ladies as well and in any case it is poison for your self confidence.

So next time you might try it the Argentinian way with “Mirada y Cabeceo” (to look and to nod) which is more elegant and leaves a lot of possibilities to save your face (If your preferred dance partner does not respond to your burning glance no problem. Pretend to not having noticed and try with someone else).

In a traditional Argentine Milonga ladies and gentlemen likewise try to make eye contact with the desired dance partner.

Once the eye contact is made they agree with a nod or maybe a smile to dance together for the next round of dances, the so called “Tanda”.

The man walks over to the ladies seat renewing the eye contact.

Only then the lady stands up to confirm her approval and the gentleman takes  her to the dance floor.

Of course the real gentleman escorts the lady also back to her seat after the “Tanda”.

The Argentinian way of inviting to dance settles also the vexatious and somewhat shopworn discussion whether women are allowed to invite men to dance. Argentinian ladies (and hombres) do it all the time with meaningful glances and tempting smiles. Wow! So nice…

P.S. of course that´s no guarantee to get a dance partner, but at least you avoid the embarassment of getting a “no”

You might also be interested in this article.

Good old Mirada and good old Cabeceo

About Wolfgang Sandt

Mostly nice, patient, humorous, ecoconscious, good tango dancer and tango teacher
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