One of the biggest (and most unpleasant) mistakes small men make when dancing with larger women.
Women of average size or very large women often do not like to dance with smaller dancers.
Not because of the height itself (which is rather unimportant if the gentleman otherwise dances well), but because smaller dancers often have a rather unpleasant habit.
They clamp their larger dance partners in a vice grip and pull them down at the same time.
Unfortunately, also many older Argentinian “milongueros” have this stupid habit, which can lead some dancers to think that this is normal and “authentic”.
The consequence of this is that the ladies cannot move freely and also have to dance constantly with their knees bent.
Both is extremely uncomfortable and painful and can even lead to long-term damage of back and knees.
So, if YOU are one of the men who are of shorter stature, be sure to check how you hold your dance partners.
Never pull them down to you, but hold them in a comfortable, loose hug and make yourself as tall as is comfortable for you.
Never block the lady’s freedom of movement by hugging her in a vice. Always remember: If you block the lady’s freedom of movement, you also block your own freedom of movement.
Even if the lady is taller than you, you do not need any extra effort, just a clear but friendly invitation.
If, on the other hand, you are a taller lady and suffer from dancers who dance as described above, do not unnecessarily try to be polite, but ask the smaller dancer kindly but clearly not to clasp you so tightly and not to pull yourself down.
After all, you want to enjoy the dance and you have every right to do so.
If the dancer does not understand this or does not want to respond to your request, you also have the right to end the tanda and you should. This is not rude but pure self-defense.
Dancers who are of good will but are not aware of the problem can learn quickly if they receive feedback from their dance partners.
And finally, with men who are not willing or able to learn, you shouldn’t dance anyway.
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